Yes, that is where I live –Disturbia.

Or so it seems. What has happened to the country I used to live in? When did polarization occur? When did the entrenched mindset begin and conversation end? When did I become victimized by my opinion?

It is a beautiful California morning in the suburbs, walking my two dogs around the neighborhood, when I run into an older gentleman with his older Labrador retriever. He tells me about his neighbor who rescued a dog from the pound (no — this is not an animal rights article!) and continues to wonder how people can do that to their animals. Then continues to wonder how we can do what we do to homeless people — that the government needs to build shelters or something for them.

Now at this point I am with him all the way… Until he says, “I’ve talked to those people who don’t want to do anything about the homeless — we have to have the government take care of this — and they don’t want the government to do anything. I don’t understand those people — leaving children out in the street like that.”

Uh oh — I think I am one of those people… Not that I want to leave children on the street — but that I don’t want government doing it all or if they do it all, that they do it right. So back to the geriatric guy with the automatic assumptions — I say — trying not to alienate him — “I’ve talked to some of those people and it seems that the issues they have is in the way the funds are handled and the manner in which the homeless will be taken care of, not whether they are taken care of…”

Uh oh — geriatric guy flinches, glares at me and walks off with the Lab. Guess I won’t be exchanging pleasantries with him any time soon…

But more than that — I left that conversation feeling victimized by my opinion. What an awful place to be! You can“t move away from your opinion, you can’t discuss your opinion — you are just stuck with it! I wanted to run back and ask that guy or maybe his dog — why couldn’t we talk about this — why was there such a need to to hold onto assumptions that make you feel right? Or ask him whether I became an awful person when I wasn’t looking? And lastly — was there anything I could do about it — short of agreeing with him?

I went on a nice walk in a nice neighborhood and ended it feeling like I did something wrong. I live in Disturbia.